Well, well, well...Sex Talk – Homo Erectus
June 30, 2006
by Alex Westerfelt, Ph.D.
“It’s not the size of the boat that matters; it’s the motion in the ocean.”
“The size of the sword is never as important as the strength of the thrust.”
Someone’s gotta’ talk about it: SIZE. Does it really matter?
A sage once said:
“Size seems to matter only to those who have it and those who don’t. The rest of us—the majority—don’t really give it all that much attention.”
That may be true, but since most of us were little kids, we’ve probably compared our apparatus to others. Now, with easier access to pornography, we have even more opportunity to compare to even more men. And with the help of a pause button, we can take our time in doing it.
When we do this, most of us probably come up SHORT –by porn standards. But that’s just the problem. Not only are we comparing ourselves to others instead of simply appreciating our healthy appendage for all it has to offer, we’re comparing ourselves to guys on the outer limits of the range of penile length.
The guys in porn didn’t get there by simply being above average. They got there by being way above average: three or more standard deviations above the mean when it comes to LENGTH. Don’t remember your statistics? Just remember “deviations.” Most of those guys deviate so much from the norm that they’re way off the graph.
But if you’re not careful, you come to think they represent the norm. Anything just a tad shorter can become a disappointment–whether it’s yours or someone else’s.
If you feel a need to compare, try a more scientific route. Check out erectionphotos.com. Learn what’s average size. See the variety of twists and turns penises can take. Maybe yours is not so goofy-looking after all.
This is how the creator of the website describes it on the opening page:
This site contains research information on penile erections. It also contains photos of erect penises. The text information is not sensational and the pictures are not pornographic. They are provided to allow anyone who feels they need this information (or is just curious) to see the natural variation that exists in male erections. If you are likely to be offended by this visual information or if you are under age 18 (21 in Alabama, Mississippi, Wyoming, and Nebraska), please do not continue.
It’s a helpful nongay site in other ways as well, not the least of which are the sections on implants and seniors. They offer personal information on sensitive issues in an open format that normalizes older sexuality.
Finally, the site can have a significant impact for some people. In the visitors’ gallery, page 4, “Jake” shares his story of how the site helped him deal with his lifelong shame about the small size of his penis. He writes:
Now I know that I am normal. But something even more important than that has happened, I don’t even know if there are words to describe the change. I have just walked out of a private hell. I doubt that you can understand how writing, and seeing the photos has helped me. The picture I had on the inside was totally out of touch with the real world.
Maybe the site will help some of you as well. We pass it on with good wishes.
Alex Westerfelt, Ph.D., is the Director of the Healthy Living Project which promotes sexual, physical, and emotional health for gay and bisexual men in the Greater Kansas City area.